Since Kristin began driving, it has made my life so much easier. No more running her back and forth to every practice, meeting, and event under the sun. Well... That is until mornings like this morning. Kristin had to be at her high school at 6:15 to ride the bus with her theater group to regionals at another high school this morning. I had plans to sleep in so I went to bed really late (early this morning). Kristin's alarm didn't go off so she came banging on our door at 7 this morning saying, "I'm late. It's 7:00 and I just woke up!" Not thinking about her already having missed her bus I told her in the best mom voice I could muster, "hurry up and get ready. Be careful, I love you." I'm not sure what I said was even intelligible. LOL! After 30 seconds of laying there, it dawned on me that she couldn't drive all the way to Phoenix. "UGH! I'll take you! Just get ready quickly" I yelled to her as I dragged myself out of bed, brushed my teeth while changing clothes and pulling my hair back (all in one fluid motion). Less than 10 minutes later we were walking out the door. After a quick stop at Starbucks (because this mom needed caffeine) and getting the GPS set up we were on our way. Normally I would have been grumpy and probably would have lectured her to death, but this morning there was nothing but peace. I was actually enjoying the extra time I had with her. I did do my mom duty and suggest to her to use a second alarm clock on important mornings for in the future which she fully agreed about. The majority of Kristin's concern didn't come from her getting in trouble though which is surprising for a teenager. It was for her theater group and that she felt she had let them down by being late. After 30 minutes on the road, I got her to her destination, waited for her to get in and text me that all was OK and I headed back home. I was overcome with joy and thankfulness. I am always aware of the fact that I have good kids, but today it really hit home. Kristin could have been pointing fingers at everything and everyone at why she was late, she could have had a bad attitude because of the situation, or she could have tried to hide her mistake by trying to make that drive by herself without telling anyone. I know most teens would handle the situation with at least one of the three ways above, myself (when I was a teen) included. Kristin didn't. She didn't place blame, she had a good attitude and most importantly... She came to us for help instead of possibly making a bigger mess by trying to fix it herself when she isn't experienced enough for driving in that area of town.
My son and his friend Nick have AWANA on Tuesdays so normally I have both boys here right after they get out of school. This last Tuesday I took Nick and Colby to eat pizza before taking them to the church. We were running a little behind, so we rushed into the house and grabbed their AWANA books and Bibles and we got back in the van. As soon as the boys were buckled I heard the flipping of pages through a book. Not the AWANA book, but the Bibles. I was instantly tuning them in to see what they would say about God. I was not let down! The conversation went a little like this:
Nick: Colby, what was God's command to Adam and Eve?
Colby: That's easy. They weren't allowed to eat from the tree of knowledge.
Nick: Ok... Who's Noah.
Colby: He built an ark.
Nick: Why?
Colby: Because God told him to.
Nick: Who did Noah save?
Colby: His family.
Nick: And?
Colby: All the animals.
Nick: Not all of them.
Colby: Two of each.
Nick: Why two of each?
Colby: Duh! Boy and girl... So they could make more.
Both boys: Giggle
Then I hear more pages being turned and the following conversation ensued:
Colby: 2nd Timothy... 2nd Timothy... 2nd Timothy... Mommy? Where is 2nd Timothy?
Me: It's after the Gospels.
Colby: Oh! Toward the back of the Bible...
More pages turning and I glance back and see that he's in Revelation...
Me: That's Revelation Colbs...
Colby: I know. The last book of the Bible...
More pages flipping...
Colby: 2nd Timothy 2:15 (and he goes on to read the whole scripture)... That's too Long!!!
The boys giggled again.
These boys were so cute and having the best conversation two 9 year old boys could have. My two kids and Nick fill me with complete joy when I hear them talk about God and read His word. They are like sponges and it's so exciting to me that they are interested in what God has to tell them! Just last night we were having a Family Faith Discussion and Kristin (who HATES to read) joyfully volunteered twice to read long passages in the Bible that went in conjunction with our discussion! Wow!
For those of you that are still reading this but don't really know my kids, here's a little background. Although both have had their typical kid moments of getting in trouble at school for talking too much, or forgetting homework, or maybe saying something they shouldn't have to someone else; both of my kids are pretty well behaved. Terry and I make it a point to be very involved in our kids' lives and know everything that's going on. We also make it a point to discipline when needed and have our kids put themselves in other people's shoes (to learn empathy). We all still have a LOT to learn, but God teaches us more every day and we try to be consistent although it doesn't always work out the way we want it to. That's the fun of parenting. You have to stay on your toes and ready for anything at all times. :-)
Now, the real reason why I'm writing this is to ask parents to REALLY study their kids and their kids' behavior. Mind you. Kids are kids. They make mistakes and do not so smart things sometimes (that's how we all learn), but I know that my kids are ultimately a reflection of me. I want that to be a good reflection, not an ugly one. Parents are one of the biggest influences a child will ever have in their lives. We have the ability to produce successful and stable adults, but on the flipside we also have the ability to really mess our kids up and to produce unsuccessful and unstable adults which will go on for generation to generation. Now. Don't take me the wrong way and think I am being cocky about my child rearing abilities. I'm NOT at all. LOL! I have plenty of things to work on, that's for sure! I do firmly believe that discipline and consequences are soooo important for kids to learn and what most kids are lacking nowadays. Without it, kids do not learn to care about others, be self motivated, successful, responsible, they run wild with no regard for them or anyone else by making dangerous decisions. With CONSISTANT discipline and consequences, kids learn to stay within the given boundaries. God tells us to discipline our kids in many scriptures. Just to name a few: Proverbs 23:13-14, Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs 13:24 and Hebrews 12:11. Now... Discipline does not mean beating your kids. It means setting boundaries and when the kids overstep those boundaries (which they will to try to push you), you give them consequences. Don't back down from them and be consistent. Make them firm and make them stick and take away things that child likes. Make them really think about what they did. After a while, the kids stop pushing those boundaries. It's NEVER too late to start, but the key is consistency. The SINGLE most important thing in our family though is that we try our best to raise our kids in accordance to God's Word. We don't always succeed, but we sure try and I feel that it's made a HUGE difference in our family and the way our kids act towards others. Although not perfect, they make Terry and me very proud to call them our kids the vast majority of the time. ;-) Gods says in Ephesians 6:4 Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. I am a firm believer that when kids are brought up within the church (not just the building, but the lifestyle of a true Christian household and community), they are much less likely to stray from what they have been taught. Proverbs 22:6 says: train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. In our family, we talk about God daily; however Terry and I both feel as if it still isn't enough. We are also currently doing a weekly "faith discussion" over dinner which is turning out to be really great bonding time. We feel this is the absolute most foolproof way to raise our kids and I feel like we are a pretty close, loving family. Although far from perfect, we have a pretty solid foundation because we choose to keep God in our house and in our lives. When I look at the two examples above of things my kids have done this week, I see what I hope to be a reflection of Terry and me in our kids' actions.
I think too many parents are too concerned with being their child's friend nowadays and it's causing a lot of problems in our schools, communities and country. I think it's crucial for us to be friendly with our kids, but not "friends". We are the parents and if they feel like we can't guide them, who will they end up following? I would hate for my kid to start following some other kid that will lead them to trouble because I haven't set a foundation for them. Disclaimer!!! I am not comparing kids to dogs as I'm sure it sounds like I am, but when my kids act out, I always remember when Ceasar Milan (the Dog Whisperer) says there are no bad dogs, only bad owners... Bad dogs are produced when owners are too lax with their dogs and don't set boundaries. It's kind of the same way with kids. There are no bad kids. There are only parents that don't set and stick with those boundaries and prove to the kids they are capable of leading them. We must all show our kids that we love them as we discipline them and freely explain to our kids why it's important they learn the lesson we are trying to teach them.
